What's up with us

If it seems like I've been quiet lately, it's not without good reason. Lots o' stuff going on around here:

The Good:

-Two adorably cute kids who are getting more adorable as the days go by... and more exhausting. I seriously love these two, but... Oh. My. Damn. Why doesn't my three year old nap anymore? Or my 5 month old for that matter?

-We put an offer on a house. It is totally an amazing house. I love it so much I might just run away with it to some deserted island for the rest of our lives. Caper about in loin cloths and live off the land and sea.

Anyway, it's under contract right now, which brings me to...

The Bad:

-We have to find a buyer for our house. Also, we have to make our house presentable enough for said buyer to walk through our house. Easier said than done with my offspring, and one fairly neurotic dog underfoot.

The Ugly:

-There hasn't been much sleeping around these parts lately. Mattias has decided he likes to rock and roll all night, as well as party every day. It's been bad. Like, I want to run away bad. Or, I am going to go play in traffic so I can get hit by a car and rest in the hospital bad. We've also been dealing with high/low blood sugars during the night as well as night terrors with Elise. It is so freaking exhausting.

Soooo, that's it. Hopefully things will be getting back to normal on all fronts very soon.

Please sir, can I have some more?

Sleep is a very sacred commodity in our house. Between having a 3 year old (who is a total night owl and sometimes stays awake until 11:00 pm) with diabetes, and a newborn; sleep can be hard to come by these days.

That's why I have to give a shout out to my amazing son, who, just 1 day shy of being 5 weeks old, slept 8 hours last night (from 11:30 until 7:30). And a few days ago, he slept 7 hours. I'm loving it!

Now if only I could get 8 hours of sleep in a row, life would be grand! Heck, I'd settle for 5 hours of non-stop slumber.

When sleeping can kill you

You may remember this post from last month in which I was lamenting about Fred's snoring. Well, after only 10 years of marriage did I finally convince him to go see a doctor about it. He was then referred to a sleep clinic.

The clinic took place last Saturday night. He got to sleep in a private room with cable TV and most importantly, uninterrupted sleep (that is, no middle of the night blood sugar checks). Jealous. I'd go sleep somewhere hooked up to wires and electrodes and other crazy things if you could guarantee me at least 4 hours on uninterrupted sleep.

Anyway, we got the call today from the clinic saying that Fred needs to go back for a follow-up. The reason? He stopped breathing over 120 times when they tested him. 120 times. 120. Times.

Seriously, that is crazy. I joked with him about all the brains cells that have been killed over the years due to oxygen deprivation. But it's not really a joke. Severe sleep apnea can lead to issues such as; heart disease, high blood pressure, compromised immune system, poor mental and emotional health, irritability, sexual dysfunction (apparently not-so-much on this one for Fred, or I wouldn't find myself in the position I'm in), and learning/memory problems. One in five people with severe sleep apnea also suffer from depression.

So he has a follow-up test this Saturday. I'm thinking about locking him in the closet at home and trying to pass myself off as a late-30s male with snoring issues. I'll do anything for a little sleep.

And some cable TV.

Snoring me to death

I love my husband. I do. Really. He is all sorts of awesome and then some. But I'm afraid I might have kill him* one of these nights. Soon.

My husband is a snorer. And unless you are married to a snorer, you cannot understand the pain and suffering that I'm going through right now.

It used to be that if I poked him enough, he would eventually find the perfect position to lay in so he wouldn't snore. Lately, the position is becoming harder and harder to find.

Last night I laid awake for over two hours, listening to him saw logs, and at one point I envisioned smothering him* with a pillow. And as usual, he woke me up about 10 times when his snoring reached such a cacophony that he was drowning out even the neighbour's dog.

Unfortunately, I can't use earplugs, because I need to be able to hear Elise over the monitor if she cries. Plus the idea of something stuffed in my ears like that is a little creepy to me. Short of duct-taping his mouth closed*, I don't know what to do anymore.

Does anybody have any anti-snoring tips that work? Please? I really have grown quite attached to Fred and don't really want to off him*.

*100% joking about the killing stuff. Blame it on my strange sense of humour.

Try #2

I'm happy to report that all went well during night #2 in the big-girl bed. Now, nap time is a much different story, with the constant sitting up and diving back down when she sees me peeking in.

Today I remedied that by glaring at her through the cracked doorway until she fell asleep.

(in case you are wondering why I'm such a nazi about when she falls asleep; it's because she needs to wake up by a certain time to eat her snack or her blood sugar will fall too low. So the longer she takes to fall asleep, the shorter her nap is. The shorter her nap is, the unhappier I am. See how everything is linked?)

A daughter's love

After a very frustratingly short nap today, from which Elise awoke crying, I went into her room to get her out of her crib. I walk in to find her standing, waiting to be rescued from her misery. She stops crying long enough to ask me, "where's Poppa?"

To which I answer, "at work", as I prepare to lift her up. Her response?

The wailing and gnashing of teeth, all the while falling to her knees and moaning in great despair, "Poppa, Poppa, where'sa Poppa?"

Ahhhhh, to be loved.

La la la, I can't hear you

We have been having some nap trouble here in our little household. I keep trying to fall asleep, but that darn Elise is just too loud.

Kidding.

But we are having issues with her waking up only 30 - 45 minutes into her nap, screaming. As I was seeking a friend's advice about it the other day, I said to her, "at least she falls asleep without a fight. She's out within 5 minutes of me putting her down."

You know how you sometimes jinx things by talking about them? Yeah. That must be what happened because for the last two days, along with waking up screaming after 30 minutes, Elise now has an opening act of screaming for 30 minutes.

As I'm typing this, she just stopped screaming Mãe for over 40 minutes. Either she fell asleep, or I've gone deaf.

At this point, either option is lovely.

Bad Poo

Those of you who know me well, know that I have a penchant for poop talk. I think I've written many times on this blog that poo makes me laugh. So when is poop not so funny?

When it inhibits your daughter from taking her nap, that's when. Elise and I have discussed this many times. No bowel movements between the hours of 1:00 - 3:00 pm. I also have a no night-poop policy in place as well.

I knew I was in trouble today when about 20 minutes after I put her down for her nap, I could hear her chattering away to herself. Elise usually falls asleep about 5 minutes after I put her down, so I knew it had to be something.

And I smelled that something as soon as I opened her door. So I got her up, changed her (with the lights off, no less), and put her back down; all in the span of about 60 seconds. But of course, she decides that it must be time to get up and is not too happy about being put back in her crib.

Yes, I am sitting here blogging, while my child is wailing away.

I am soooooo mad at you, poo.

Edited to add: Yay, she finally fell asleep. I think she only cried for about 10 minutes, but it felt like forever. Sleeeeeeeeep, little bean!

Now you know why I'm crabby all the time

Sleep, slumber, 40 winks, visiting the Land of Nod; whatever you call it, I need it. I'm an 8-hour a night kind of girl. Oh, I'm not saying I get 8 hours... rather, that's the minimum requirement if I hope to even remotely resemble a human being the next day and not some quivering mass of cranky, useless goo.

But staying up too late, having troubles falling and staying asleep, and having a child that requires nighttime intervention a few nights a week have hugely diminished my sleeping abilities.

That is why when Elise's piercing shrieks awoke me at 5:45 this morning (totally not her fault, the poor girl is teething... at almost 19 months, she still has only 4 teeth and I think the rest of them are erupting simultaneously), I was utterly dismayed to remember that I had been dreaming about grocery shopping before I woke up.

Seriously, subconscious? Even when I'm asleep, I still have to do drudge work? It's supposed to be a time for rest! There was one interesting part where I was talking about the band KLF to another shopper, mentioning that they had done a duet with Tammy Wynette. Why my brain decided to dig up this nugget of information, I'll never know.

I woke up as I was meandering towards the bread section with a coupon in hand. Hah... I'm cheap even in my dreams.

Hopefully tonight I won't be dreaming of doing something like scrubbing the toilets, folding laundry or vacuuming; I work hard enough during the day to avoid those tasks, I shouldn't have to do it at night too.

She's Just Trying to be Helpful

For some reason, Elise has been having sleeping issues in the mornings. I'm not sure if it's related to the diabetes, but it started just after we got home from the hospital. Usually she sleeps until 8:30. I never used to hear a peep out of her until she would wake up, bright-eyed and ready to go. But lately she's been waking up around 6:00, crying. Sometimes she soothes herself back to sleep, and sometimes either Fred or I have to go in, put a hand on her chest, and she'll usually fall back asleep in five minutes. When we used to soothe her as a tiny baby, we'd also make a shushing noise. It's become such a habit, I still do it to this day!

So this morning I go in around 7:00. I put my hand on her chest, and she quiets down right away. Because I'm so tired, I neglect to do the shushing thing. After standing there for about a minute, I start hearing a "shhhhhhhhhh" coming from the crib. It continues for about another minute until she falls asleep.

I guess we've taught her well...

Oh yes she did

The last couple of days have been frustrating to say the least. I won't write how I REALLY feel about it, because swearing is very unladylike. For some reason, Elise has been resisting her afternoon nap. She's been crying so hard that she actually starts to choke. I've tried all the advice that I've read in books and on the Internet, but nothing works.

"Well," you say, "maybe she's just not tired." Not so. How do I know this? Because while trying to let her "cry it out" today, she fell asleep. In her crib. While standing up.

And I have the video to prove it.

Sorry the quality is so bad on this, but that's what happens when you shoot a video in the dark with only a flashlight for illumination.

Well played Elise... well played.

Sleepy Time

I think baby naps are like endorphins to a Mommy's brain. The longer Elise sleeps, the happier I feel. It's not because I don't want to spend time with her... it's just, well... I need a break, is all.

She has never really been a terrific napper, but from time to time she will pull a three hour nap out of her butt and I will practically swoon from the sheer joy of it. Although to be quite honest, after hour two I start wandering around the house looking for the dog so I can burp her or something.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke