You know who you are

Dear vomit-inducing,cutesy, 20-something couple who were in front of me in line at Jamba Juice:

It shouldn't take you 10 minutes to order. Seriously, it's all fruit and when blended together at hyper speed, it all pretty much tastes the same. Hey, girl-who-thinks-she's-a-lot-cuter-than-she-really-is? Maybe if you took the fifteen layers of mascara off your eyelashes, you might be able to actually read the menu board, so you could make a decision. Never mind that there are 3 people in line behind you that already know what they want, and one of them (me) is holding a 19 pound baby.

And guy behind the register? When she finally makes her decision, please don't ask her what free boost she wants, paving the way for another agonizing, take-my-car-keys-and-pierce-my-eardrums-so-I-won't-have-to-listen discussion about whether or not you can get fat from Jamba Juice.

Sincerely,
The lady whose arms fell off after holding her baby for so long

Annnnnnd, exhale. Whew, just had to get that off my chest.