Why you won't find me on facebook

In the recent weeks, I have had some people trying to cajole me into getting on facebook. I know, I am the last person in the known universe to not have a facebook profile. So what? I didn't get a cell phone until after Elise was born.

I don't facebook.

I don't have a myspace.

I don't twitter, tweet, nor am I a twit.

I'm not even sure what friendster is.

The funny thing is, I would jump through fire for these woman who are doing their best to turn me, yet I will not sign up for facebook. And I understand why they want me on there... but I have this thing against facebook.

I think facebook, and other social networking sites like it have ruined the very notion of community. "What?" You are saying to yourself, "Joanne are you stupid?" And while the answer to that question might be yes, the footnote is; not about this.

I actually love the idea of facebook. I don't have an issue with using facebook to keep those that you love (that don't live in your general vicinity) in the loop about the goings-on in your life. I also like the idea of re-connecting with old friends that you have lost touch with and it's not always easy to keep up with them using other methods.

I also don't mind it as a way to communicate quickly and succinctly, even with those who live near you.

What I hate is how it has taken the place of any meaningful communication with the people who are supposed to be your real-life, living-and-breathing friends. You know, the ones that live within a 25-mile radius of you. People that you could get together with, if you decided to put any real effort into it.

The other thing that bugs me is how people update you on every single mundane thing in their life. I don't care if you; just walked your dog, or are going to bed, or are waking up, are shopping or not shopping on Black Friday, hate/love Black Friday, like that it's Friday, etc. But that's a whole other post.

And no, I don't think that I'm hypocritical for having a blog on which I post about MY mundane life. I do it for therapeutical reasons. Having people out there that actually come to my blog of their own volition and read my verbal spewings is just the cherry on top.

I think what started my hate for the facebook is when Elise was diagnosed with diabetes. Did you know that during the four days we were stuck in that hospital, only 5 people came to visit (and one was a couple, so really is was 4 people)? There we were, during one of the darkest times is our life; our child was diagnosed with a chronic, life-changing illness, and people thought it was okay to text us to see if we needed anything. It really made me sit up and take notice of the people we counted on as friends.

Facebook has made it okay for hands-off kind of communication, taking the place of any real community. It seems nobody wants to get involved in anybody's life anymore, especially when things get messy. Does receiving a text with a sad emoticon and the words, "hope u r ok", really convey to people that you care about them?

And that is why I shun facebook and all of it's cousins. I don't want to be okay with drive-by community. And I never want to get to the place where I'd rather write on someone's wall when their world has been shattered instead of coming alongside them and being that living, breathing, real-life kind of friend.