Welcome to the United States of America

So said the two letters Fred and I received yesterday.

They then went onto say that our Permanent Resident Status had been approved. Meaning: after 8 (possibly more, I've actually lost track), years, our Green Cards were APPROVED!

I don't swear often but, holy %&#*, are you #@*&^%#! me???

For those of you unfamiliar with our story, here's the Reader's Digest version:

Fred and I are not from around here. I am from Canada, and Fred is Portuguese. Together we make one very lovely melting pot. About 9 years ago we received a letter from the good ol' American government telling us we had 30 days to vacate their country. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. And definitely do not let the door hit ya on they way out.

We were being deported.

Fred and I had done nothing wrong, rather there was an issue with our visa becoming invalid due to some things that had happened with Fred's employer. When the CEO heard of our plight, he hired some lawyers to work on getting us new visas. Our hopes were not high, for various reasons that I don't want to get into on my blog.

I don't remember how long the actual process took, but after a lot of agonizing, filing of papers, prayers, and emailing with lawyers; we received the new visas. This either was due to some fancy-schmancy lawyer-ing, or it was a total "God Thing", because it shouldn't have happened. I'm going with the "God Thing".

Because visas aren't forever, we had to start our application for a Green Card. For those who don't know, visas are only good for a set number of years. When they expire, you have to leave the country and cannot apply for another one for a year. I believe we started our application in 2002.

What followed were 8 years of uncertainty. We had no idea if we'd be approved. Or when. Do we buy a house? Should we start a family? This process made our whole lives crazy. Things like investing, travel, moving, or purchasing our a home were made painful. In fact, Fred wasn't even allowed to LEAVE the country for 9 years!

(When I say allowed, it was HIGHLY SUGGESTED by our lawyers that Fred not try to cross the border because there was a chance that an overly-zealous customs agent would not let him back in, even though he has every right to be here - it's complicated.)

To make a very long story short, the long-awaited Green Cards were approved and we received our letters yesterday. To say this has been a long time coming is a HUGE understatement. Someone once joked that when we actually got our Green Cards, we should throw a huge party in celebration. Unfortunately, it's way too hot, and I'm way too pregnant to want to do it.

But feel free to send presents anyway.

Just Bad Timing that's all

When Fred and I made our way onto foreign soil at the Peace Arch Crossing in February of 2000, we had nary an idea that we'd still be living in the U.S. almost 10 years down the road. In Texas, no less.

But here we are, and here we will remain until we have received our coveted not-actually-green cards. We started the process about seven years ago.

"Wait," you say, "did you just say you've been waiting for your not-actually-green cards for SEVEN years?"

Yes. Yes I did. And I have come to the conclusion that the U.S. government is a testimony to really bad timing. I offer the following:

Since moving here, I have never been able to legally work. It was a frustrating existence to say the least; being a willing, able-bodied and somewhat able-brained, employable person with no outlet and $75,000 of consumer debt, but not able to do my part made me a very cranky person. Alas, I found my place in a volunteer position at my church where they treated me very much like part of the staff, yet never took advantage of my vast quantities of free time. I stayed until Elise was born.

About three months after Elise's arrival, came something else. My Employee Authorization Document (EAD). In plain English it meant I could now legally receive a paycheque in the U.S. Except now I didn't want to.

Good one, American government, very funny. Have I mentioned that it's been SEVEN YEARS???

I think I forgot to mention that with the not-actually-green card application came the advice from the lawyers to not travel outside the country. That's right, Fred hasn't been able to leave the U.S. since 2001. I am more free to come and go as I please since the application is not in my name, but the last time I left was in 2005. Because let's face it, it really isn't so much fun travelling on your own unless you're 20 years old and riding the train through Europe with nothing but a backpack.

Do people still do that?

But about a week ago came Fred's long-awaited travel document. Huzzah! We can now take Elise back to Canada to meet friends and family that have only been able to watch Elise grow through our borderline-fanatical taking of the daily picture. If have no idea what I'm talking about, go here.

Except about two weeks ago I had to send my passport back to Canada for renewal, so according to the new laws, I'm not even able to enter MY OWN COUNTRY, because I am now passport-less.

Seriously, does the government keep tabs on stuff like that? Is there a guy who works for the government whose sole purpose is to send out the documents you've been waiting for at the very least convenient time? Or are they just masters of bad timing?

Oh, and 200 Senility Points for anyone who knows where the title of my post comes from (without googling it, thankyouverymuch - and yes, I'll know it if you do).