Mom's World

What world do you live in? The "real" world, or Mom's world?

It's weird being a Mom. There are no "Mom Schools". You never receive any formal training. And yet, it's really one of the most important jobs there is.

As Moms, we are (partly) responsible for bringing up and training the next generation. Who they will become has a great deal to do with how well we do. From the day they are born, they are watching us. When I see Elise take a toy and slam it down in frustration; it looks all too familiar. Now where would she pick something like that up? Oh yeah... me. I do that too when I'm upset. Well, I don't use a toy, but you get the picture.

I graduated from the "real" world to Mom's world on a rainy evening September 4th, 2007. I had taken a few measly childbirth/breast-feeding/how-to-keep-your-baby-alive classes, but there is nothing like practical experience. I felt wholly unprepared for my new life.

I have so many hats these days, I'm running out of places to hang them all. My resume includes; CFO, COO, teacher, chef, chauffeur, maid, dog walker, and errand girl. Just over the past year I have added nurse, nutritionist/dietitian, and pancreas to that list. I wonder how much a pancreas earns in the real world?

I bet my yearly salary would be a cool half mil in the real world. But here in Mom's World my salary is kisses, cuddles and hugs.

Would I trade it? Nah. Money can by lots of things, but your little girl coming up to you and saying, "ah la oo" (I love you), has no price tag and could never be bought.

Who takes care of the care takers?

I'm sick. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was the case, and it was confirmed on Saturday when I received the diagnoses of a sinus infection. For me to give in and go see a doctor, means it has to have reached a point of terminal velocity (can you use that term to describe illness? I don't care, it sounds cool). And it had... I'll spare you (most of) the details, but you can't find the colour of some of the stuff I coughed up in nature. It was that gross.

It's not the total down-for-the-count kind of sick, but it has been going on for a little while and it's starting to take it's toll on my body. I feel like I'm walking through a giant mass of gelatinous goo with shoes that weigh at least ten pounds each, all the while wearing titanium body armour. And carrying about 10 extra pounds that I must have gained from all the mini eggs I have eaten since Easter candy went on sale. I'm tired, my body is tired, and all I really want to do is lay on the floor, with Elise within arms reach because I'm sure not moving too quickly if she gets into anything.

But no, it just doesn't work that way. Because there is laundry to do, mail to open and file, meals to make, a dog to feed, diabetes to treat, a house to clean, grocery lists to compile, bills to pay, coupons to cut, so on and so forth for evermore, ad infinitum.

It doesn't seem fair, does it? When Fred is sick, he gets to take the day off, stay home and lie on the sofa. When I am sick, I get to stay home and... well, pretty much do everything that I normally do in a day. Momma don't get no sick days.

I'm not saying that Fred doesn't do his share. In fact, he is the antithesis of the stereo-typical husband. When he is home, he goes above and beyond in helping out and I know I am so blessed to have a guy like that. Unfortunately, since we are not independently wealthy (or even dependently wealthy for that matter), Fred has to work, and life must go on.

So I'm slogging through as best as I can, but I honestly don't know how much longer my poor body can put up with this. It doesn't help that Elise has been sick too, which as I posted earlier, makes caring for her diabetes so difficult. I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

In a perfect world, we would have some sort of "Mommy Charter", dictating that when one of us is down for the count, others would step in to help out, giving Moms everywhere the peace of mind that they too, can have sick days.

In fact, when I become president of my own sovereign island nation (which will happen when I purchase said island - preferably a deserted one), I will invoke this idea into law. If you want citizenship to this heretofore unnamed nation, you must pass an IQ test, a personality test, smell nice, and listen to good music. The president has spoken.

Speaking of Music

Can somebody please tell me why I woke this morning up with the song, "Let's Hear it for the Boy" in my head? It won't go away and I think it just might be killing me.

Whoa, maybe he's no romeo

But he's my lovin one-man show

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Let's hear it for the boy

And now it's in YOUR head. Why should I suffer alone?

I know, I'm such a giver.

A nap! A nap! My kingdom for a nap!

It seems to me I've been rather quiet of late on this blog. Mostly because life with a toddler leaves very little down time to write. Especially when said toddler thinks that one one-hour nap a day is adequate. Today her nap was 45 minutes and I'm writing this as she brings me lotion, a nasal aspirator and other sundry items from her room.

Yes, today I am THAT Mom... ignoring her child so I can write on my blog. Actually, she seems quite pleased with her little game, and as long as she's not out of my line of vision for too long, or screaming, I'll indulge her. *Snicker*, give me my Mom of the year award now.

I am fresh off of a weekend from hell. Think a collective 4 hours sleep for both Friday and Saturday nights while tending to a child that is screaming during the night with sky-high blood sugar, and you'll get a glimpse of what my weekend was like. By Sunday I felt like running out into the street so I could get hit by a car, and taken to a hospital, where I could finally get some rest. I think my IQ lowers by a full 50 points when I'm tired.

Right now Elise is trying to give Seven some nose drops so she can use the aspirator on her. I think that's my cue to stop ignoring my child and go rescue my dog.

Why yes, I AM a dork!

When I brought Elise downstairs after her nap today, I turned on the TV since I was going to nurse her in a few minutes. It takes a few seconds for the picture and sound to turn on. So I went into the kitchen to check Elise's blood sugar, and all of a sudden, I started hearing voices. No, not in my head (at least, not this time), but from another part of my house!

"Oh my gosh, " I thought, "Someone is IN MY HOUSE!" I went into Momma Bear mode. I would knee him in the groin, while simultaneously cracking him on the noggin with a sauce pan, all the while protecting my daughter.

As I was forming this devious plan, I peaked around the corner, and that's when I figured out who the voice of the intruder belonged to.

It was Howie Mandel of Deal or No Deal. I had totally forgotten that I'd turned the TV on, and since it's on so rarely during the day, I didn't realize that's where the voice was coming from.

As the Blog header states, "Come on in, the senility is fine."

Bad Blogger

Stupid Blogger LIED to me. My 150th post, wasn't my 150th post at all. It was number 140. While technically, I do have that many posts, some of them are still in draft form and haven't been published.

I feel so cheated.

I'm not lazy, just really, really Tired

My Christmas tree is still up. Is that bad? I keep hoping that one morning I'll come downstairs and the Christmas elves will have put everything away... but it never happens. Stupid, lazy Christmas elves. I guess it's time to put the rat poison out.

I'm glad I don't say half the things that I Think

Said to Fred and I in an elevator at the parking garage in Southlake Town Center by a teenage boy:

Him (looking at Elise who was wearing a purple hoodie with butterflies on it): Girl or boy?

Fred: Girl

Him: How old?

Fred: Almost 15 months

Him: Cherish her, man. You gotta cherish them at this age. They grow up so fast. Next thing you know they turn into us (indicating his group of friends).

Thank you son of Dr. Phil. I loooooove taking advice from a 16 year old who isn't bright enough to wear a jacket in 39 degree weather. Not to mention he thinks a baby wearing purple butterflies could possibly be a boy. I mean, these Southlake teens have done some hard livin', driving around in their Daddy's H3. Gotta give them props for their words of wisdom, yo.

She Thinks the Amazing Race is Mooooo-velous

I have two shows that I really and truly follow. By that I mean if my bum is not firmly planted on the sofa in front of the TV when they are on, then I am taping them. Or DVRing them. Or rather Fred is because I keep forgetting how to. I think Elise has more ability to operate our DVD player than I do. Anyway, one of those shows is Lost, and the other is the Amazing Race.

So I finally get around to watching Sunday's episode of the Amazing Race this afternoon while Elise is napping. Unfortunately, for reasons only known to her, she decides to cut her nap short, with about 15 minutes to go in the episode. I figure, what the heck, it's only 15 minutes... I can finish it off while she hangs with me.

One of the tasks in the episode had teams wandering around Almaty, Kazakhstan in a cow costume. Elise found this particularly entertaining and jumped off the sofa, ran up to the TV while yelling, "Cow! Cow! Cow! Moooooooooooooooo!" She stayed glued to the TV set for the rest of the show, mooing every time the cow would appear.

Amazing Race, you have just won yourself another fan.

Edited to add: apparently, we don't actually have a DVR. It's a DVD that has recording capability. I thought the two were one and the same, but a DVR has a hard drive. So I stand corrected and have learned my new thing for the day. So I guess I can finally go to bed, safe in the knowledge that I'm technologically stupid. And you know what? I am so okay with that.

50 Facts of Randomness

In honour of my 50th post, I thought I'd share 50 random things about me. Because I can.

1. I love being a redhead. I often get asked if I ever hated having red hair, and I can't remember feeling that way. Do not ever refer to my hair as orange.

2. I love to make lists.

3. Especially when I get to cross stuff off.

4. I have a thing for waterfalls. I love them. I could sit and stare at a waterfall for hours.

5. I have HORRIBLE eyesight.

6. I prefer to wear contacts, but my eyes are so dry that they hurt my eyes. So glasses it is!

7. I have recurring nightmares about some sort of disaster happening and I can't find my glasses. Usually I'm being chased by someone, or there's a tornado coming.

8. Sometimes I think too much.

9. I also over think things.

10. I love being married to Fred.

11. I love being Elise's Mom.

12. Cats scare me.

13. I hate Dallas. But I think that's pretty obvious.

14. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

15. Since it's a little late for that, I think I'd like to go back to school so I could work somewhere in the medical field.

16. Math makes my head hurt, but I have a good memory for numbers. Weird, eh?

17. I've been hit by a car on my bike twice. Two separate cars, on different occasions. Not the same car twice.

18. I've had 7 surgeries.

19. When I was about 4 or 5, I ran through the sliding glass door at my Mom's friend's house. I couldn't tell that it was closed, plus I've always been a bit of a klutz.

20. I have never done drugs, although the way my brain functions, I sometimes wonder if I have and just forgot about it.

21. I'm an honourary Newfie. The way this is bestowed upon you is by kissing a cod and drinking some sort of alcohol that tastes like paint thinner called "Screech".

22. My favourite band is the Hothouse Flowers. I've had the pleasure of meeting them several times, and not only are they amazing musicians, they are wonderful souls too.

23. My Dad used to grill steak on Saturday nights during hockey season. To this day, when I hear the Hockey Night in Canada theme, I smell steak.

24. I love the memory of sitting on the sofa and watching hockey with my Dad. He helped fuel my passion for the sport, even though he referred to almost every player as a bum.

25. I wanted to be a hockey play-by-play announcer when I was a kid. Still do, although I think I'd rather do colour... it's a lot less talking.

26. I wish I could sing. I mean, I can sing, but I'm sure most people rather I didn't. So I guess I wish I had talent as a singer.

27. I have a hard time forgiving people.

28. Even though I am forgiven. That makes me sad.

29. I'm starting to think this list is rather self-indulgent. Really, who cares about this stuff?

30. But I'm going to finish it anyway.

31. I love getting mail. Junk, bills... whatever. However, I am sad when I ONLY get junk and bills.

32. I tend to be rather hard on myself.

33. I wake up every morning with a song in my head.

34. My favourite hockey team is the Canucks, and my favourite player is Trevor Linden. I know he's retired now, but for me, nobody will ever trump him. That guy defines the word "class".

35. I like quotes and I used to collect them. By collect them, I mean I had a book I would write them down in. I wish that I was smart enough to come up with some pithy statement that people will be saying hundreds of years from now.

36. I also collect old coins and bills.

37. I think that last fact makes me a nerd.

38. My younger brother is adopted... at least that's what my older brother and I used to tell him. But didn't every sibling tell the other this?

39. I can't believe it took me this long to put this one in, but I AM CANADIAN!

40. I think I hit my peak when I was 12.

41. Becoming a mother has made me more thankful of everything my mother did for me.

42. At one point in my life, I worked for a bank. This one branch I was at for only 8 months was held up 3 times while I worked there. I was held up one of those times... scary stuff. Although the guy was caught about 30 minutes later ordering a cheeseburger at McDonald's. Hee.

43. I tend to feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

44. I didn't own a cell phone until after Elise was born (about 10 months ago). I have no idea what my phone number is, and I've never texted anybody. Actually, I think Fred turned the texting option off. Most days, I have no idea where the silly thing is.

45. When I was 17, I travelled through DFW (the airport, not the metroplex) on my way to Guatemala. I looked outside the airport and told my best friend that I would never live in a place like this. God has a weird sense of humour.

46. I would NEVER live in Hawaii. Did you hear that one, God?

47. I would so live in Hawaii.

48. I tend to stick my foot in my mouth. A lot.

49. Everytime I see a UPS or Fedex truck drive up my street, I hope it will stop at my house.

50. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but only in stuff that matters to me.

If you made it this far, thanks for indulging me! Look for 100 random things about me for my 100th post! Just kidding... or am I? Yes I am.

Cunha Look-alike Meter

People always ask us who we think Elise looks like more. I've never been able to tell, but now I can say with 100% certainty that she has a bit of both of us in her! Pretty cool...

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family search - Family history

Simple Math

Near 100 degree weather

x 12 days in a row

+ one 9 month-old (who doesn't want to sleep)

________________

one overheated, cranky, stir-crazy Joanne

Sometimes I hate you, Texas.

Maybe She'll be a Doctor

I had to go see my doctor today because I've been having a lot of sleeping problems lately (mainly, I can't). Normally I would not take Elise with me to a place where "sickies" run amok, but since Fred had to go to Austin at the last minute for work, I took her with me. I was a little bit nervous. People aren't used to children being loud at the Big People's Doctor. It's not like at the pediatrician where you expect to hear children screaming. I was hoping she would do okay.

Turns out I didn't need to be worried at all. She did great, even entertaining patients in the waiting room by waving and smiling at them. And when it came time to have my blood drawn, she just sat there and watched the whole thing. I'm really hoping that this means medical school is in her future.

And that she's smart or athletic enough to get a full scholarship.

Welcome, please take off your shoes

To blog or not to blog, that has been the question for the last few months. Not that I have anything overly interesting to write about. I'm not even sure I'm going to tell anyone about said blog. I just have a lot of words roaming about my brain and I think to purge them would feel good. Maybe it will help get rid of the "mommy fog" I've had for the last 8 months.

So this is blogging... feels kinda weird. Sort of like the first time I put on make-up. It looked strange, and I'm not sure I did it quite right. Plus there's an echo in here right now. Hopefully that will go away soon. I think this post is long enough, so I will end it how I used to end all of my journal entries. With a quote (sometimes by someone famous, sometimes by lil ol' me) that captures my mood at the time.


Until the next time,
"Be not simply good, be good for something"
- Henry David Thoreau