Like my new shirt?

You know you want one.

photo courtesy of Elise.

400!

Posts, that is. Actually, this one is number 402.

So, because I can, here are some more seemingly random facts about lil ol' me. Because it's my blog and I'll post meaningless drivel if I want to.

1. I have now had 8 surgeries (femur x3, jaw x2, knee and c-section x2). That's a whole lotta slicing and dicing. At one point I had 2 plates, 9 screws, and 2 pins inside of me.

2. When I was a kid, I used to find money. A lot. The best was when I found $10 at the age of 8 or so. People used to think I was lucky, but I just walked with my head down a lot.

3. I don't like Disney World/Land. Adults who go without kids strike me as a wee bit creepy.

4. I am the mother of a boy who is almost 6 months old, and I haven't been peed on yet. Although now that I've said it, I'm expecting it to happen any diaper change now.

5. If I ever won the lottery (or came into a lot of money somehow), I would donate a good chunk of it to diabetes research for a cure, pay off our house, and then invest what is left over. No crazy splurges for me. I'm boring like that. Mmmm, wait. My one splurge would be to get all my D-Peeps (fellow parents of diabetics, and persons with diabetes) together for a weekend of fun.

6. Both my babies were born the day after labour day.

7. I think Conan O'Brien is (was? still is?) the absolute funniest late night host. Leno is okay (although my opinion of him went downhill after the whole Conan thing), and Letterman is nothing but a creepy old man who stares at the chests of his female guests. And he's not funny at all. And he's gross.

8. My 30th birthday (on which I turned 30 on the 30th - isn't that your golden birthday or something?) was pretty much the BEST birthday EVER! We were in NYC, and I got to see a taping of Conan. Plus My favourite band, the Hothouse Flowers were performing on a boat that cruised around the Statue of Liberty that night and they had the whole boat sing me Happy Birthday. Gush, gush, gush! Oh... I just happen to have a picture from that night... don't I look rested and happy?


9. Actually, 2006 was the best year ever. White water rafting in Idaho (no, you da ho), NYC trip, Hawaii, and we found out we were pregnant with Elise... on Christmas Eve, no less.

10. I just cut off 8 inches of hair. Because I have so much hair, it was enough to donate two ponytails... except in all the ensuing chaos of trying to get the house ready for showing, I can't find the baggie of hair I was supposed to mail. Hopefully a potential buyer won't stumble across it as they walk through our house. That would be a little weird.

So tah-da. Ten things about me! Plus one uber-cute picture of my kiddos.

I can't see the difference, can you see the difference?

On the left is me the day before I gave birth to Elise. And on the right is me the day before I had Mattias. The difference in size absolutely astounds me. And Elise was only 2 oz. bigger! How crazy...

Just more of me to love

Ahhh, probably the penultimate obligatory belly-shot.

To loosely quote So I Married an Ax Murderer; "Look at that thing, it's HUGE! A virtual planetoid... it has it's own weather system!"

Or at the very least, it's own zip code.

Four more days, four more days, four more days...

Update on baby Mattias

I went in for my 36 week appointment today. Hard to believe that in three weeks from today, we'll be welcoming our baby boy to this world!

I'm still hanging out at 3 cm... thankfully, no change since they released me from the hospital last week. The doc thinks he's about 5 pounds at this point, but I remember she said Elise was going to weigh in around 6 pounds and a bit and when she was born she was 7 lb 13 1/2 oz (the 1/2 is VERY important).

She also doesn't think I'll make it to September 7th (my scheduled c-section date). Dear Lord, I hope she's wrong about that. Because I'm still having contractions, she told me to take it easy and rest a lot. Ummm, I pretty much aim for that EVERY day, but I don't really know what "take it easy and rest" means anymore.

As much as I'd like to have this baby sooner rather than later, it would not be the best plan for us. So pray that Mattias decides to stay put for a little while longer!

May you live in interesting times

Apparently, I have a flair for the dramatic when I'm pregnant. With Elise, I fell in the bathtub at 32 weeks and went into labour. I had to say in the hospital for a weekend, but they managed to stop the labour and send me home.

This time around, I caught a nasty little stomach bug that, despite my best efforts, dehydrated me severely. When I called my OB's office on Wednesday, they became concerned when they heard I hadn't been able to keep anything in me since Saturday, and told me to go to L&D (labour and delivery) to make sure everything was okay.

Upon checking in and being hooked up to various and sundry machines, they discovered my contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart, and I could definitely feel them getting stronger. I was also dilated to a 3, and at 70% effaced.

It took 3 shots of Terbutaline, and 3 bags of saline; but they finally stopped the contractions about 7 hours later. As an added bonus, I was also diagnosed with a UTI and reflux.

But, I'm at home, taking it easy, and little Mattias gets to cook for a little while longer. One thing I have to mention is that my husband is a complete and total ROCK STAR. He has done an amazing job of looking after both Elise and I. While working from home this morning, he wrangled Elise, managed all her diabetes care, and even cleaned the whole downstairs.

All while I slept blissfully upstairs (at least one of the drugs I'm taking knocks me out). What can I say, I married well!

State of the Pregnancy Address

I am at 34 weeks.

I have 5 weeks left to go.

I am only sleeping about two hours a night.

I am uncomfortable.

I have some sort of crud (but it's not serious crud, I saw the doc today).

I have to pee approximately every 45 minutes.

It is 106 degrees today. It was about the same temperature yesterday. And the day before.

Apparently it feels like 110.

The 7 day forecast calls for temperatures above 100 degrees every day.

One thing you never want to hear a weatherman say in regard to hot weather: "no end in sight."

I never want to be pregnant during the summer in Texas again.

Despite all my complaining, I am blessed and thankful for this pregnancy.

That is all.

20 Things I can't live without

Holy smokes... I found this in my draft folder and it's almost a year old! I thought I should post it before I forget about it again.

Here are my 20 things (in no particular order)...

1. My Family - Well, duh. I've got a great guy, sweet, amazing daughter and a neurotic, but pretty cool dog. 'Nuff said.

2. My Birkenstocks - Birks are to me what flip flops are to most other people. I have a huge aversion to things between my toes, so flip flops are a no go for me. But I have been wearing Birks since I was 15. In fact, I had the same pair for 15 years! They travelled through Europe, down to SF and over to Texas with me. I still have them, although I don't wear them anymore.

3. Sleep - Without it I am a monster. I don't get enough of it anymore, so there's your answer as to why I'm so difficult.

4. Target - Ahhhh, the first store name Elise ever learned to say. She can spot a Target store from miles away and asks me at least three times a week if we can go to Target. I have no idea why. The sight of red stickers excites me.

5. The Amazing Race - I'm betting I really could live without watching this show, but it's the only way I'll ever get to travel to Mongolia and watch someone eat yak balls. Plus, you know... Phil.

6. Tyleonl PM/Advil PM/Benedryl - You'd think that someone who isn't getting enough sleep would be able to fall asleep pretty easily, wouldn't you? Unfortunately, my brain has a hard time shutting off at night. A lot of it has to do with diabetes, and I tend to over analyze Elise's numbers. I don't take something every night, but sometimes a girl needs a little help getting to where she wants to go.

7. My faith - Life has been a wild ride so far, and my life changed for the better almost 9 years ago. Major props to God on that one. You can't see me right now, but I'm pointing skywards a la any movie star or pro athlete who has just won an award/hit a home run/scored a touchdown etc. No I'm not, because that would just make me look like an idiot.

8. Hockey and my Vancouver Canucks - You know I'm Canadian, right? I play Air hockey, Ball hockey, Barn Hockey, Bubble Hockey, Field hockey, Floor hockey, Ice hockey, Kitchen hockey, Road hockey, Roller hockey, Table hockey, Twist hockey And I play hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey all the time! Take shots! Any good Canadian will be able to tell you what all the nonsense means.

9. The written word - I am somewhat of a word junkie. When I was younger, I always had to be reading something. Even if I was sitting at the table eating breakfast, I would grab the cereal box and read every word on it; english and french. That's why I knew how to say, "no sugar added" in french before I ever started school. Now I don't have much time to read, but losing myself in a book is a great way to escape the stresses of life.

10. Really great music - I know everyone has differing opinions on what "really great" means, but for me it means not listening to screaming/shrieking/noise, someone caterwauling about their pick-up breaking down, or some idiot talking about hos and droning on in a language that might sound like english if your IQ was about 20. Also the Christmas Shoes song. Because it really, really sucks.

11. My body pillow - I became seriously addicted to this when I was pregnant with Elise. Now I can't sleep right if I don't have an extra-long bag of cotton to snuggle up to (who says I'm not romantic?)

12. My quilt - I love my quilt and I hate sleeping without it. I quasi-made it. By that I mean I chose the material, measured it, cut it and had every intention of sewing it, but ran out of time. So I pleaded with my friend Gabi to finish it off for me. It's a rag quilt and it's purple and oh-so pretty.

13. A hot shower - I get cold easily and I hate to smell. 'Nuff said.

14. My D-Mommas - oh how I love these women! They are there for me like nobody else can be. We have plans to meet one day in real life, but for now I just have to be content that they live in my computer.

15. Nap time - Well, Elise's nap time. Still working on finding the time for me.

16. Fun socks - I really have no fashion sense, nor do I really care that plaid is all the rage right now (did I wake up in the early 90s or something? Shouldn't I be in math class right now? I loooooove Nirvana - wait, no I don't. See #10). But I do love fun socks. With multi-coloured stripes, or sparkles, or funky designs... I love them all (remember, this was written almost a year ago... when plaid WAS in).

17. A good conditioner - Have you seen my hair? I mean, really seen it? You can't miss it. It's red, and big, and long, and my God there is a lot of it. I probably shed enough hair everyday to give someone a whole new head of hair. And to tame the wild beast that sits upon my head I need a really good, moisturizing conditioner. It needs to smell nice, too.

18. Laughter - I love humour, laughing and making others laugh. A good laugh can be as cathartic as a good cry. Lucky for me I live with two pretty funny people and a mildly amusing dog.

19. The word miscellaneous - I'm a pretty organized person. A place for everything and everything in its place, I say. But what bugs the poop outta me are those things that don't fit anywhere. For example, Elise has a bunch of storage drawers for her toys, and those drawers have labels. And those toys are stored by category. Except we have a whole slew of toys that don't fit any category and hence must be stored in the "miscellaneous" drawer. I have miscellaneous folders, envelopes, cupboards, bins, shelves... ahhh, miscellaneous. It does my anal-retentive heart good.

20. My blog - Because where else would I be able to put all the crap that clogs up my brain?

Aaaaaaand fin. Aren't you glad you wasted 10 minutes of your life reading all that?

27 weeks

Getting bigger + stupid, hot Texas weather (even though it isn't even summer yet) = one unhappy preggo.

Honey, I'm home!

I think this may have been my longest absence from the world of blogging since I started almost two years ago. Didya, miss me?

I must admit I really missed writing, but due to many reasons, could not summon up the energy to write about anything. Here is a brief update:

As you know, my Mom was sick while she was visiting us. What you might not have known is that I was (and am still) pretty sick myself. I went to the doctor and had some blood drawn and we discovered that not only is my white blood cell count in low (second test in about 10 months to come back with that result), but my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) came back at 75. Normal range is from about .3 to 5.

Well, crap-on-a-stick... no wonder I was feeling so supremely lousy. If you don't know much about hypothyroidism, here are a list of symptoms:

* Fatigue
* Weakness
* Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
* Coarse, dry hair
* Dry, rough pale skin
* Hair loss
* Cold intolerance (you can't tolerate cold temperatures like those around you)
* Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
* Constipation
* Depression
* Irritability
* Memory loss
* Abnormal menstrual cycles
* Decreased libido

I was so tired I could barely move, my whole body felt like I had been hit by a truck, my hair was falling out at a rate where I could have supplied someone with a wig every three days (lucky I have a tonne of hair), and I was taking about 5 showers a day because I couldn't warm up. Since I am irritable about 95% of the time, it was hard to determine a change in that.

We discovered the issue about 10 days ago, but I can't tell if I'm feeling better yet. I had a follow up blood test today and should know more in a few days. Maybe I am on the rebound since this is the first time I've actually felt like writing anything.

Hopefully I am getting better and will be able to catch up with everybody else soon. Thank you to those who checked up on me to make sure I hadn't decided to join some reality show or something.

A FailMom kind of day

You know you've had a FailMom kind of day when:

It takes you THREE tries to get the oatmeal-making right this morning (OATMEAL for the love of all that's holy). Try #1 has you boiling up a pot of quinoa instead of your oatmeal. Because quinoa and steel-cut oats look exactly the same. Not in the real world, but in a world where you've only gotten three hours of sleep, they do. Try# 2 has you wandering upstairs and completely forgetting about your breakfast, thus burning the oatmeal and making the entire downstairs a total stink-fest. You finally get it right, over an hour later. Good thing the oatmeal was for you and not your kid who had already been given her insulin and needed to eat like, 50 minutes ago.

You manage to convince yourself that it is no big deal that your daughter is wearing the same top for the third day in a row, and more than that; it's okay that it's a pyjama top. And it's completely fine to take her out into public dressed like that because hey, at least you made an attempt to find matching pants. Emphasis on the word attempt.

You peek out through the shower curtain and notice your child is keeping herself busy by building the Leaning Tower of Feminine Hygiene Product Packages. You then shrug and tell yourself it's cheaper than having to buy her actual building blocks, since they serve a dual purpose.

You try to introduce your daughter to a brand new and totally fun game called, "Let's all take a Nap!" Wherein the object of the game is for you both to lie on the floor completely still and pretend to sleep . The secret object of the game is for you to actually sleep, while your child believes you are playing a fun game.

While you are making dinner, you allow your kid to pull out every pot, pan and other cooking utensil from the cupboard because you're just happy she's keeping herself occupied. You then notice with complete horror that there is blood everywhere and discover she has cut herself with the apple slicer-thingy. Not a bad cut, but a cut nonetheless. You then, being a mother of a T1 diabetic child, quickly ponder if you should use said blood to do a BG test, because hey... you need to test her in about 15 minutes anyway.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen... I am a star.

Joanne's Year in Review

I shamelessly stole this from another blog...

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
a) Took two airplane trips with a toddler. That may not sound like much to you, but add diabetes into the mix and it is. It was seriously something I had been so afraid of doing because of all the bad things that could happen. But I forgot about all the good things that could happen too. Namely...
b) Met someone in real life that I had first met on the internet. Meri... she's good people.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't so the whole resolution thing, I'm not sure why, it's just too cliche I guess.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I can think of.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my wonderful Grammy Ann. December 21st. One of the first people I would call on Christmas morning would be Grammy Ann because she lived in the eastern time zone, and the rest of my family are in the west. I picked up the phone to call her that morning when I remembered she had passed away. I miss her.

5. What countries did you visit?
Unfortunately, never got to leave the U.S.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Please to have MORE SLEEP!

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 21, when Grammy Ann passed away. I can't think of anything else.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keeping my daughter alive, and not losing my sanity in the process. Also the $8,000+ we raised for the JDRF walk. And designing the World Diabetes Day shirt that we had over 30 orders for.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Hmmmm

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just a touch o' the swine flu, thankyouverymuch

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My front loading washer and dryer. Man I am so boring.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Elise - she is so amazing, I know adults that could learn a thing or two from her.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Meh, moving on...

14. Where did most of your money go?
Probably Target. And Chick-fil-a. We also got to support some ministries that our friends are a part of. That was fun!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Trip to SF
meeting Meri
Elise's 2nd birthday, but first celebration
Our Team Elise video
JDRF walk , with more than 30 people walking for Team Elise.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Seeing how I don't ever listen to the radio (except for talk radio) and never get to listen to new music, I don't have an answer to that.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Last year at this time was rough, diabetes-wise. It's still pretty rough right now, but we're dealing with it.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner... by about 5 pounds. It's called stress.
c) richer or poorer? Richer. Not just money-wise though...

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping and traveling.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Obsessing.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Got Elise up. Breakfast. Presents. Snack for Elise. More presents. Lunch at a friend's house which turned into dinner because we never got around to leaving. Who know South Africans could be so much fun???

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I fall in love everyday.... awww (blurgh - the sound of vomiting)

22. What was your favorite TV program?
New show? The Good Wife. Old Show? Amazing Race

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate. There are people that make me very sad, but I don't bother wasting my energy on hate.

24. What was the best book you read?
Can't remember

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
See answer to question #16.

26. What did you want and get?
To get out of Texas for any period of time... and we did! Twice!

27. What did you want and not get?
A cure for diabetes

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Don't think I actually saw a movie... no wait, The Proposal. It was cute, but I hated that Sandra Bullock was supposed to be a Canadian from Toronto, yet she couldn't pronounce the name of the city properly.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33 this year. Fred threw me a surprise party.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I spent 2009 in survival mode... just treading water. I would have liked to have accomplished a bit more, but what can ya do?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Bohemian-athletic-hippie. Boleppie.

32. What kept you sane?
Blogging and all my D-Momma friends

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nobody.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Hard to feel political when you don't have the right to vote. Perhaps it would be having the right to vote and not using it... idiots.

35. Who did you miss?
Family. Canada.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
In real life: Laura, Meri. In my computer, the on-line D community. There are none better...

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Life may suck right now, but it will get better. Then it will suck some more, but get better again. It's all about rinsing and repeating...

38. What are you looking forward to in 2010?
Perhaps a trip to meet up with the D-Mommas
A trip back home to Vancouver
Raising money for Team Elise
Starting a project that I've been thinking about for a year

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Worry not
mother of all that is
for what has yet
to be lived
worry not
the dawn will come
and there will be an answer
for everyone
worry not
don't stop walking
on the land
breathe in the air and hold out your hand
worry not
your truth is written in you
fly like you were meant to

worry not your time has come
the time of angels has begun
as sure as I stand
as sure as I sing
there is a miracle waiting in everything
-Worry Not, Liam O' Maonlai

5 things

I took this from Wym's blog. You should meander over there when you get a chance. She's quite funny and can see Mexico from her backyard.

Which, of course, is almost as good as Russia...

5 things I can't leave the house without:

• my daughter and all her various supplies to keep her alive and well


• my cell phone (albeit very reluctantly)


• a bottle of water


• my solemn vow to try and not kill any of the many terrible Texas drivers I encounter.


• my wallet (because I couldn't think of anything else)
  

5 cartoons I watched as a kid:

• Muppet Babies


• Smurfs


• G.I. Joe


• Transformers


• Scooby Doo
  

5 things I want to do before I die:

• See a cure for diabetes (bet you didn't see that one coming)


• Visit Victoria Falls and raft the Zambezi River below the falls


• Visit Australia and New Zealand (I admit, not a lofty goal, but for someone who cannot stand to be cooped up on an airplane for more than about 4 hours, a goal nonetheless)


• Speak Portuguese fluently and with a fabulous accent


• Go through one day without being worried or stressed about something (yes, I realize that I'd probably be have to be dead already if this were to actually happen)

I'm published!

Okay, not really... but my letter to the editor was! If you want to read all of the who, what, when, where, and why (and perhaps a how or two), just click this link to my other blog.

Today, a letter to the editor. Tomorrow, a 859 page novel about an invading army of space giraffes from the planet Gyrot. And one wily human (who may or may not be named Joanne), and her plans to save the planet from these even-toed ungulates.

I pick Tina Fey to play the lead character in the movie version. Because our glasses are very similar.

When the teacher becomes the pupil

I find people-watching fascinating. Fred says I'm just nosey, and maybe so; but I love to watch people in situations and see what makes them react. I swear it's better than most of the crap you see on TV.

The other day at one of the story times Elise and I frequent, I had the chance to observe a Mom that I couldn't tear my eyes away from. She was like a character from a movie or a book; one so over the top and full of hyperbole, you swear she couldn't be for real. She marched into the library with her approximately 2 year old child strapped into a stroller. Dressed more for a business meeting than a sit on the floor story time with your child, her mouth was set in a grim line as she picked up one the the story time programs and said to her child, "let's see what they do here."

I watched, totally caught up in the scene, as the librarian told her that her child could play until the other kids arrived and story time began. The lady looked uncertain and replied, "I don't know, she's a bit of a trouble-maker and gets into everything."

The librarian just laughed and said they were pretty much set up for the chaos that kids create. The lady looked worriedly at her daughter and started un-strapping her from the stroller. The kid (I'll call her G), ran over to a bookcase and grabbed a book off the shelf. The mother looked horrified and ran over to her, telling her no and that she needed to behave. G then started to walk over the parachutes that were set up on the floor and the Mom grabbed her, admonishing the child as she pulled her back towards the stroller.

Throughout the story time, the Mom sat with the child in her lap, arms holding her in an almost straight-jacket fashion. Every time the child would "act up", the mother would hiss a warning in her ear.

From what I could see, G was no different from any other child at that story time, full of energy and life; just wanting to experience the world around her. And my heart ached for her. I wondered if the Mom's controlling nature was going to quench this little girl's enthusiasm for life. Is this how the Mom grew up? Being told she was a trouble maker and was never allowed to be mischievous?

I then started asking myself how my nature affects Elise. I accept that I am a bit of a perfectionist. And a control freak. And I also have the tendency to be a wee bit anal retentive. But I try not to push my personality defects on Elise. I want her to be a clean slate, free to grow up to be the true person she is.

One thing I hate is a mess, I like to clean as I go, and I'm not big into getting dirty. But the other day Elise wanted to finger paint. And more specifically, she wanted me to join in. She started by smearing a line of paint down my arm and as I fought the urge to run and wash it off, I realized I needed to stop being so "grown-up" about things and muck in on her fun.

So we painted, Four or five glorious pictures of gooey paint. We had paint everywhere; the wall, the table, the chairs, ourselves. And I loved it.

What I loved most is that although I am the one who is supposed to be teaching Elise, she is a wonderful teacher in her own right. She has taught me to slow down, not to get caught up in the little things, and enjoy getting dirty once in awhile. Children view the world in a way that is so freeing, so wonderful; I think more adults need to sit down with their kids and learn a lesson or two of their own.

Here is a picture of the lesson I learned that day. Beautiful, isn't it?

Because I'm not like other girls

Fred got me a washer and dryer for my birthday

This is a disclaimer to all and any men reading this... I am not like other girls. Buying a present like that for your wife will probably end up with you sleeping on the couch for an undetermined length of time, and spit burgers served for dinner. And most likely the longest "dry spell" (aka no bow chicka-bow-wow), you've ever experienced.

But me? I was ecstatic with my new, high-efficiency, front-loading, visions-in-white, time-savers. Mostly because it means that my husband listens to my never-ending griping about certain appliances that take almost two hours to dry a load of laundry because the stupid (man) person who designed it thought that a 30-minute shut-off gave the machine more than ample time to dry the articles within. I would like to meet that man and, you guessed it... kick him in the groin.

It took me a long time to be okay with the fact that I'm just not like other girls. I read the "Love Languages" book and figured out that "gifts" were definitely not mine. I'll probably get kicked out of the girl's club for saying this (heck, I think I'm already on probation), but jewellery doesn't do it for me. Neither do flowers... giving a person something that just ends up dying is rather morbid. I would rather the flowers stay in the ground and remain pretty and alive.

I like gifts that are useful.

I remember one birthday I asked Fred for some sort of kitchen appliance. He said no, he hates to buy those types of gifts. So I stomped my feet, wailed and gnashed my teeth some, and he gave in. And saw how happy my electric griddle/crockpot/blender (okay, I admit I can't remember what it was) made me. And he's been hitting the nail on the head ever since.

Don't worry, the washer and dryer were not the only gifts I received, Fred is a lot smarter than that.

And by the way, I do consider a massage and facial a very useful gift.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in the key of A minor

I love my brain. It keeps me entertained through the wee hours of the morning better than any infomercial for the Magic Bullet ever could. What I mean by that is that I have the coolest dreams of anyone I know.

Now don't worry, I am not going to bore you with the excruciating details of my dreams. We have a rule in our house about dreams (which Fred always breaks); no trying to describe them. Because listening to someone recount their dream to you is like hearing someone drone on about their evening of drunkenness; it never makes any sense and is way more interesting to the one telling the tale than the one having to hear it.

But this was seriously cool... my dream last night was Star Wars, the Musical. I am completely serious. There was a Storm Trooper dance number and even a mournful solo by Darth Vader that truly exposed his tragic inner conflict. That's right, my dreams all have their own original musical score. Eat your heart out Andrew Lloyd Webber.

For some reason I was the director of this spectacle, which is weird. I know I'm bossy, but I abhor being in charge of very large groups of people. I think I should have been Chewbacca... we totally have the same vocal range.

My new love/hate relationship

I think I could be in trouble. Nordstrom Rack just opened a store about 5 minutes from my house, and although I am not a clothes horse by any means... wait. Why is a person obsessed with clothes called a horse anyway? Why not a clothes pig? Or clothes sheep? Is it because out of all the animals on the farm, the horse wears the most stuff? They get shoes, a bridle, I've seen blankets underneath the saddle. Is that it?

Did you know that the term clothes horse also refers to a type of drying rack? Oh information super highway, is there anything you don't know?

Sorry, I'm back. My brain saw a rabbit and had to give chase. Heh, clothes rabbit.

Okay, for real this time. What was I saying? Ah, yes Nordstrom Rack. You wouldn't know it to look at me (because let's face it these days my usual style is what's-on-the-floor-and-doesn't smell), but I do enjoy wearing cute clothes. If I had to give my "preferred style" a name, it would be bohemian-athletic-hippie. Boleppie... it has a nice ring to it.

Walking into that store is like walking into my dream closet. You know, if I had enough time on my hands to dream of such things.

But, I don't tend to spend a lot of money on clothes because I am cheap. And Nordstom Rack ain't exactly the 75% off rack at Target.

Can you feel the war that is raging within my wallet?

Stupid, stupid, stupid

I'll just warn you ahead of time; if you're a bit squeamish, there's a somewhat gross picture at the end of this post...

Today I was opening a toy I bought for Elise because she has been such a trooper with her shots lately. We were sitting in the parking lot at Toys R Us, and I thought it would be nice for Elise to be able to play with her new toy on the drive home. So I got out a Swiss Army knife that I have in my glove compartment and starting cutting those annoying, grey, twisty wires that grace the packaging of every child's toy; whether it needs them or not.

And yes I know; aim the knife away from your body, away from your body. But today I was stupid, and although I abhor stupidity like this, I also have my moments. You know where this is going, don't you?

Right. The knife slipped and sliced off a sizable chunk off the heel of my left hand. It was quite awful to be standing in a parking lot with blood dripping off of my arm, my 21-month old in the car needing to get home because it was almost dinner time and she needed to get her shot, and me not quite knowing what to do. Luckily my husband works about 10 minutes away and came to my rescue. We finally got it to stop bleeding after about 20 minutes, and he followed me home.

I'm now finding out how difficult it is to do life one-handed. It's a good thing it's not my dominant hand, but I'm not quite sure how I'm going to give Elise her shot tomorrow. I'll tell you this, it has made typing out this post slow and painful.

Another not-so-great thing about this was the number of people that walked right by me in the parking lot as I was standing there trying to get it to stop bleeding. They looked, but not one person stopped to offer help.

Because I look like the type of person that would stand in a Toys R Us parking lot and pretend to bleed, just so I can trick someone into approaching me, giving me the opportunity to steal their purse or something.

Harumph. Okay, yucky picture coming up...

Perhaps I'll wear a dress tomorrow

I am not what you would call a girly-girl. I practically live in jeans. I don't wear make-up. The most I ever do to my hair is put it in a clip. I hate high heels. I have no clue what the latest fashions are and I don't care who's wearing who and dating what. I. Just. Don't. Care.

That's why the thought of going for a pedicure seemed so un-Joanne-like that I almost snorted when it was suggested. But as I thought about it a little more, the idea seemed pretty fun. Good friends, great conversation, warm water, and me sitting and not having to do anything but enjoy myself.

feet before

feet after... pretty!

Mmmmm, I could get used to pampering like that.

Good friends. Great conversation. Thanks guys; it did my feet, and my heart good.