Thursday, October 13, 2011

So it has come to this, has it?

I had an appointment with my "lady parts" doctor the other day, and in the days leading up to the appointment, I realized something... I was actually looking forward to it.

Because let's face it, laying half naked in "the position" covered only by the thinnest wisp of paper all the while getting cozy with a speculum, is about the closest thing I'll have to a spa day anytime soon.

Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. They're awesome kids. In fact they are the greatest kids since the invention of kids (and yes; they are better, smarter, and more adorable than your kids)... It's just that they're always... there.

In fact, I don't even get to pee alone anymore. The other day, as I was sitting inside the toilet room (that itty-bitty room that houses your toilet inside the bathroom), I was joined by two kids and a 50 pound dog while trying to empty my bladder. It was all very cozy. A little too cozy for someone who used to have trouble peeing in a public washroom if someone else was in there.

And yeah, I hear those of you who are saying, "well, that's what you sign up for when you have kids."

Except that those of you who are saying that either don't HAVE kids, ergo have no voice whatsoever in this. Or you live in the land of grandparents and caregivers and you can leave your tiny shadows whenever it pleases you.

When you have a chronically ill child that needs specialized care, plus a 1 year old who I like to refer to as my "baby-on-crack", time without them just doesn't happen. "Date-night" around here includes two children, three bags and lot of screaming.

"Joanne," you say, "you sound so bitter!'

Nope. I'm really not. I'm just tired. And in need of some "me" or "me and the husband" time. You know that saying, "how can I miss you if you never go away?"

Yeah. It's kinda like that.

In the meantime, it is with great anticipation that I'm awaiting my sono appointment in a few days.

I gotta date with a wand wearing a condom.


shannon said...

ahahah omg NICE VISUAL. dude, stop and get a coffee (or bev of choice) on your way to and/or from the ladyparts doc and extend your 'spa' day by an extra 15-30 mins. no one gets hurt and you reclaim a bit of sanity, yeah?

Kelly said...

hahaha love this one! I don't get to pee alone anymore either...and the lady parts doc too are one wild and crazy bela dama!

Laura@Cowboy Boots said...

omg i nearly spit my coffee out! this is awesome..

about the peeing not alone..i pee so much with the door open i need to remind myself to shut it when company comes over haha