Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Stupid People Chronicles, Vol.1

Lately I've been encountering a lot of stupid people.  Now these aren't people with below average IQ who do things that even Homer Simpson would deem, "not s-m-r-t", but people who have ticked me off in some manner or another.

This is a tale of a woman who made me want to run her over with my shopping cart because she was a Class-A Jerk. I was grocery shopping, and as I came around the corner to the aisle that held the Clearance Section (aka my favourite aisle in the whole grocery store), I noticed a back-up of people and carts.  It seemed one jack-weed had positioned her cart so nobody that was coming from my way could get to the clearance section.

She then proceeded to clear out pretty much every "good" item from the section; school supplies, diapers, pull-ups, batteries... you name it, she had it in her cart.  I think I counted over 10 packs of diapers.

By the time I came around the corner, she was done; sashaying her way towards the check-out leaving a handful of bewildered people in her wake.  They wanly smiled at me and shrugged their shoulders.  One person muttered, "she took EVERYTHING!".

My rage is two-fold; first, the blocking out of everyone else... so not cool on so many levels.  Had I arrived sooner, I like to think I would have sent her cart sailing down the aisle. Not before taking a few choice items out of it and putting them in my cart (okay, maybe not on that last part).

Second, SHE TOOK EVERYTHING.  She didn't leave anything for anybody else.  You might say, "so what, she's entitled to take it all if she wants."  Um.  No.  Because that makes you a turd.

Yes it does.

I remember one time I found some baby food in the clearance section, marked down to about 10 cents.  This was the good stuff; expensive, a well-known brand name, and organic.  I could have been a douche-canoe and taken every last package, but the human in me thought it would be nice to leave some for other people.  Because I'm decent like that.

I spent the rest of my shopping trip with visions of pelting her with all the diapers she took, but then the idea of the Stupid People Chronicles was born.  And it seems a lot healthier to write out my rage, then to act on it.

And a lot less crazy.

So congratulations, Raider of the Lost Clearance Section; you are the star of my inaugural Stupid People Chronicles!


Kelly said...

I am so going to love these Chronicles! xoxo