When is a fudgesicle not a fudgesicle?

Warning: this rant is fueled by pregnancy hormones and one big, fat craving. It might sound over the top and full of hyperbole, but I assure you that every emotion is very real.

All I want is a fudgesicle, and have for about the last week or so. It's really been the only craving I've had thus far in my pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Elise, my OB gave me some very good advice; when you have a craving, wait for about an hour, and if it's still there, then go for it. Is it just me, or does that sound like the pregnancy version of, "if you love something, set it free..."?

Anyway, sometimes I'll decide that a chocolate milkshake sounds good, but I've already forgotten about it 5 minutes later because I've become distracted by something bright and shiny. Or a ball of yarn. Because pregnancy has not only made me a little bit dumb, but also a cat.

My husband, being the good man that he is, went out one night after I had been chased to bed early by one of my nightly bouts with extreme nausea, and bought me some fudgesicles. He left a note that I found the next morning that said to look in the freezer for my treat. I eagerly opened the door and pulled out the box, only to read those three very suspect words No Sugar Added.

Fred's thinking was (and I don't blame him on this), is that this product was better, because it had No Sugar Added. But I understand how the minds of these people work. They are tricksy little hobbitses.

No Sugar Added actually means Sugar Free, which actually means We've-Added-Some-Nasty-Ass-Chemical-That-Was-Concocted-In-A-Lab-To-This-Food. Namely, Aspartame. UGH!

I don't do fake sugars. Any of them. Which may really surprise you coming from the mother of a Type 1 Diabetic. I have my reasons, but that's another post for another blog, for another day. Oh wait, you can read it right here.

So on our next trip to the grocery store, we returned the offending box of fudgesicles, and I set off to the "frozen novelty" section (a name which has always made me laugh, by the way) to find some honest-to-goodness frozen chocolate on a stick.

Only, they doesn't exist. They don't make them anymore. I know, because I have now searched in 3 different grocery stores, and I cannot find any fudgesicles without fake sugar. Why? Why can't a pregnant lady have herself some REAL SUGAR?

I'm sure these companies think they're doing us a favour, taking away our choice to choose real over fake, but I'd like to think I'm competent enough to make that decision for myself. And how long until other products start appearing with the only choice being No Sugar Added label?

I'm telling you, it's enough to make a grown woman weep. If I wasn't so tired and nauseous. Bah, I think I'll just go to bed.