Plants, flowers and trees... why do you hate me?

Okay Dallas/Fort Worth and surrounding area people, I'm going to slag on your hometowns for a bit. Don't get defensive... I get that you love it here. Maybe if I was born and grew up here, I would love it too. I get that different people love different places for a whole bunch of reasons.

I bet if I took anyone of you and plopped you down in Vancouver, you would hate how it rains all the time. You would not like the cold, and be disgusted by the socialist-ness of it all. I'm betting that you would complain about how it's too green, or too beautiful, or the kick-you-in-the-groin awesomeness of it all.

Anyway, onto my point. Whatever you guys grow here, my body hates it like.... well, I don't think I can even come up with a comparison of one thing that hates another so much that they would like to bludgeon it, kick it around for a bit, stomp on it, stuff it in a bag and hit it with sticks, throttle it for good measure, then light it on fire and drown it just to make sure it's dead.

I swear my head is going to explode from all the pressure building up in my sinus cavities. I itch all over; my head, my face, my stomach, back... Have you ever tried to scratch your feet when you are the slightest bit ticklish? Not an easy task.

I itch in places that I didn't know you can itch. The other day I used a q-tip to try and scratch the inside of my ear. Yeah, yeah, I know... you should put anything inside your ear smaller than your elbow... blah, blah, blah. You'd do it too, just to get some relief.

I was thinking of trying to find one of the instruments they used in ancient Egypt to remove the brains of dead people via their nose because I swear even my brain itches. Of course I would modify it so that instead of a hook, it had a tiny little hand on the end of it. Like one of those backscratcher things.

I don't get what it could be that bothers me so much. In Vancouver, we have stuff blooming all the bloody time and I have never wanted to scratch my face off. I just want some relief that is not in a pill form. Here's my plan, let's burn it all to the ground and start over... any other allergy sufferers with me?