Friday, June 5, 2009

How to make Joanne cry

I am not what you would call an overly emotional person. I just don't cry a lot. It could be due to the fact that I don't have tear ducts (kidding), or that my heart is three sizes too small; I just don't know. I think that growing up a tomboy with two brothers and a general disdain for all things girly stunted the growth of the part of the brain that deals with emotions.

That's not to say I can't cry... I do for the big stuff. You know, like when my first-born child made her way into the world. I'm not sure who was wailing louder; me or Elise. I mean, I may be emotionally constipated, but I'm not dead inside.

But there is one thing that gets me every time. And that thing is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. I don't know what it is, but as soon as I hear that ukulele, the pathway to my emotional neurons fire up and the water works start. You can blame it on the rain, you can blame it on the stars.

But I blame it on the ER episode where Mark Greene died. A little part of me died that day too.

When Fred and I went to Kauai in '06, guess what song was playing on the radio when we started our rental car? My first thought was, "groan... how cliche". My second though was, "Oh, crap, where's my kleenex?"

I had to tell Fred I was crying from the sheer happiness I was feeling about NOT being in Dallas.

Our Kroger also has it in heavy rotation on their in-store muzak . When I hear the opening notes, I make a run for the freezer and stick my head in until the song is over. Because nobody wants to see a grown woman stumbling through the grocery store; weeping over the mangoes. Fred thinks I'm checking out all the expiration dates on the milk.

But at least I'm not raising an emotionally constipated daughter. The other day I was feeding Elise her dinner, and I had my IPod on in the background. Before I could stop it, THAT song came on (yes... I downloaded it, but never listen to it. I'm saving it for when I get my big break in Hollywood and I have to do a crying scene).

So, of course the tears start and as I"m trying to stifle my sobs, Elise reaches up, gently pats my cheek and says, "awwww, Mãe sad."

Then she reaches up her arms, and asks, "ug?" (hug)

So what if I am dead inside? I have the sweetest daughter. EVER.

2 comments:

Liz Sobolik said...

You are both the "sweetest ever". I really like that version of the song too.

Val said...

er, um, you are SO not dead inside. I've seen you feel. I'm on to you. You're BUSTED.