The toe

Can I just start off by saying feet gross me out a little bit.  This picture makes me feel all sorts of yuck.  But I post it as proof that cleaning is hazardous to your health.

Behold!  The broken toe... casualty of an errant vacuum cleaner left abandoned on the floor in hopes that some little nocturnal elves would come calling and put it to use.  

My dog sheds her boy weight in fur everyday.  This means I have to vacuum everyday.  Sometimes twice, or her little furbleweeds will grow big enough that I fear they will morph into some sort of living thing. Like a gremlin.

All that to say; I hardly ever put away my vacuum.  There's no point.

You think that I'd learn the first time I tripped over it to either put it away, or avoid it entirely.  But it was the second trip, a mere 5 minutes later that snapped that third toe like a twig.

There are no words.  Except there are.  And although I won't type them here,  I sure did yell them.  

Don't worry, the kids were asleep.

Blergh Soup

I started this post a million years ago.  But it made me giggle, so I'm posting it anyway.

Andy, a friend of mine, has a blog and from time to time he writes bullet-point posts called "Blog Soup".  Because I lack the time to complete one blog post in it's entirety these days, I've decided to give the bullet-point post a whirl, and partially steal Andy's name as an homage.  Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery... right?

Why Blergh Soup?  Because "BLERGH" is the sound my brain makes when it explodes from being so full of thoughts from all the thinking I do and Elise asking me, "why" one million times a day.

Let the blerghing begin...

• Dear Spring Forward people... I want my hour back.

• There is something beeping in my house and I can't find the source.  It is one solitary beep every 30-40 minutes.  It's making me crazy(er)

• I think Target pipes air-borne Valium into their stores.  It is my happy place.  Seriously, Target is the real "happiest place on earth".  Suck it Disney.

• I can't figure out how to change the time on our DVR.  Shouldn't it have changed by itself?  I really hate this time change stuff.  See bullet point one.

• I know I'm not their target audience, but the guys on from the Hard Line on the Ticket really crack me up.  They bring back nostalgic feelings of when I worked in radio. And Mike Reiner sounds like George W. Bush to me.

•  Summertime in Texas makes me wish I was dead.

• Fred bought me an iPhone because my old cell phone was on it's way out.  As much as I hate the way so many people bury their faces in technology, I have to admit that it's pretty handy.

• Speaking of technology, Fred was helping a stranger change their tire the other day, and some guy stole his Ipad while he was doing it.  I can't even verbalize how mad stuff like that makes me.  I just don't get how a person has no problem taking something that does not belong to them.  Jerks.

• Those last two bullet points made me realize that I do not know the proper spelling of any iProducts

• I have so many posts in the drafts section, I'm not sure what to do with them.  Some are half finished.  Some are only titles.  Some have just a few lines written and I can't quite figure out what the hell I was thinking of.

• This was fun.  I created a Blergh Soup label, so perhaps I shall attempt it again. 

8 is great!

7 Months!

Happy 146th Birthday Canada!

It all started with a simple picture of my 10 month old daughter holding a Canadian flag.  Now 5 years later, all 3 of my kids proudly wave the maple leaf on Canada Day. 

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Tell me what’s a Douglas Fir

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Betcha never heard a bobcat purr

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Have you ever seen a lobster crawl?

In Canada, we get to see them all.

We get to see the maple trees, maple sugar and the maple leaves,

We got the biggest wheat fields growing tall

In C-A-N-A-D-A, where we see the reversing falls

In Canada, we get to see them all.

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Tell me, what’s a tidal bore,

A-N-A-D-A,

Have you ever heard the ocean roar?

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Just listen to that wild goose call.

In Canada, we get to see them all

We get to see the maple trees, maple sugar and the maple leaves,

We got the biggest timber woods so tall 

In C-A-N-A-D-A, where adventure ever calls,

In Canada, we get to see them all.

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Have you ever heard a maple creak?

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Betcha never seen a mountain peak.

C-A-N-A-D-A,

In the land of the big snowball.

In Canada, we get to see them all.

We get to see the maple trees, maple sugar and the maple leaves,

We got the biggest wheat fields growing tall

In C-A-N-A-D-A, where we see the reversing falls,

In Canada, we get to see them all.

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Have you ever seen a magnetic hill?

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Or a lady on a dollar bill?

C-A-N-A-D-A,

Betcha never seen the autumn fall.

,

We get to see the maple trees, maple sugar and the maple leaves,

We got the biggest timber woods so tall 

In C-A-N-A-D-A, where adventure ever calls,

In Canada, we get to see them all.

*Lyrics from the song C-A-N-A-D-A by Raffi

The trifecta

Every once in a great while, I achieve mommy nirvana.  What is that, you ask?

Getting 20 uninterrupted minutes in the shower?

Nope.

Washing, drying, folding and putting away ALL the laundry before another piece of dirty clothing finds its way into a hamper?

Nice, but no.

Having dinner ready, the house cleaned, the children (and you) dressed, the dog walked and fed all by the time your husband comes home from work?

Bahahahahahahaha!

No, my mommy nirvana is something a little more selfish and involves getting all three children down for a nap AT THE SAME TIME.  Quite a feat considering Elise hasn't napped since she was 2.

But every so often all the stars align and age of Aquarius is dawning, and all three minions will head off to the land of nod simultaneously.  And it. Is. Glorious.  Angels we have heard on high and amen!

Usually when this happens, I find myself sitting on the sofa staring at my hands as if they were magic.  Then one of the wee ones wakes up and it's back to reality.

The other day was unfolding to be such a day.  And I was excited.  I hadn't stared at my hands in a good long while.  It had all the signs; Mattias asking for a nap.  Elise wanting to rest so she could stay up late to make an airport run to pick up her avo and avó (grandpa and grandma in Portuguese).

And lovely Lucas; primed and ready for a feeding and a snooze.  I had the older ones sleeping and Lucas was nursing.  Towards he end he fell asleep, and just as I put him down, his eyes popped open and he said, "hey Mama... let's party!"

Okay, HE didn't say that, but his face did.  Resigned to the fact that my hands were not going to get stared at, I brought him downstairs.  Then something funny happened.

I got to spend time with him, and just him.  Something that never happens.  Usually he is relegated to his bouncy chair or pack and play, largely ignored while I deal with the mischief of the other two.  He's pretty happy to do so, Lucas is a very easy baby who just goes with the flow.  But I often feel like he gets the leftovers of my attention, and most of the times it's just crumbs.

So we snuggled.  And chatted.  He smiled and batted his eyelashes at me.  We had ourselves a kitchen dance party.  And there were kisses... lots of kisses (okay, he licked my cheek and tried to suck on my chin, but it counts!).

And it was wonderful.  Better than staring at my hands.  While the nap trifecta is pretty cool, getting to spend a few hours with this little guy is so much better.

Six!

My new strategy

Fred is out of town for the next few days. And my offspring have been driving me nuts lately, so my thought was as follows:

• Get the crazy minions out of the house so they won't mess it up.
• Have lots of fun so they fight less.
• All this exersice will make them tired at the end of the day and I'll want to smother them less. 

Outing #1: local park

He doesn't look impressed, but he was having fun

 

My three high-flyers

Da boys

I am unsure of this swinging business
 

Outing #2: Picnic lunch at another local park and spray ground

Spray ground cutie

My skinny little chicken

He couldn't play, but was all smiles anyway

Me and my drooly littlest man

I told you he was a skinny chicken.  For the record, those are 18m swim shorts. And he's trying to pull them up, not down

Outing #3: Dinner at a local grocery store (that has a resturant and playground). Ice cream for dessert


I really don't know. This was the pose they decided on

Outing #3 included an emergency diaper change for Mattias in the middle of eating ice cream. It was truely gross and I felt bad for the other diners in our vicinity. Thank goodness for friends that just happen to walk by when you need them.  And for employees who don't stand up to you when you barge your way in even after they tell you the bathroom is closed for cleaning for the next 10 minutes.  I think the poor man could smell us coming.

All in all the mission was a success... all three children slept soundly through the night (something we've been having issues with all three of them lately), and were in a great mood this morning.  And I want to smother them a little less.

Everybody wins!

Elise-isms & Mattias-isms

Mom... I need help dressing my princess. She has boobs.


Me: Elise, what would you like for your snack?
Elise: Well Mom, I'm glad you asked that question...

I want to send God an email... does He have a laptop?

I'm not bossy... those are just my rules

While watching olympic swimming, she saw Michael Phelps being interviewed.  She crept up to me and bent down to whisper the following in my ear; "Mama?  Why does that man have boobies?"

I told her they help him to swim faster.


The other day, while we were eating dinner, Elise told me she was full.  I replied that I guess she would not be eating the cupcake we had for dessert, since she was too full to finish her dinner.  She then went on to tell me the following:

"Well Mom, my RIB jar is full.  You see, in my tummy I have all these different jars; carrot jar, grape jar, ribs jar and cupcake jar.  My rib jar is full, so I couldn't possible eat anymore ribs.  But my cupcake jar is empty... plenty of room for a cupcake!"

I gave her the cupcake.


Mom are you even listening to me?


What do people in Africa even wear... tank tops?

Come on Mattias, let's kick it! (while listening to music)


Mom!  You cannot wear that shirt... people will see your bra! (I was looking at a sheer top the other day while we were shopping)

----------------------------------------------

And let's not forget about Mattias, who says some pretty funny things in his own right:

Elise, you look beautiful! (he said this to her after her hair was curled and she was all dressed up for her pre-school graduation)


I live in United States Running (what he calls the U.S. - I can't even hazard a guess as to what it means).


I got a referee! (holding up his game puck which was given to him by an NHL ref).

Hello there, 5!

Dear Lucas,

I figured it's about time I wrote you one of these.  After all, your sister got one every month for her first year (though they're not posted on this blog).  Mattias also got them every three months or so. Now it's your turn.  I promise you it wont always be this way often-overlooked-third-child.  Would it help if I secretly told you that you're my favourite?

All joking aside, you kinda are.  Let's face it... you're adorable (okay, the other two are as well), but you don't talk back.  Or tell me no.  Or give me attitude.  You seem to get that silence is golden, and... your poop doesn't smell bad.

I thought I'd start with today, because for many reasons, it's pretty special.  First off, it's your Uncle Marc's birthday.  You met him a few weeks ago and seemed to like him, even though the thought of changing your diaper made him gag.

Secondly, it is your 5th monthaversary.  It seems unbelievable that you have been around for that long.  Yesterday, I saw a mom with a newborn and it seemed to me that you still should be exactly that size; all tiny and snugly.  I love the stage you're in, but I do miss those milk-coma days.

But most importantly, exactly one year ago today, I found out that you were on your way to bless our family.  I remember being so scared, not because you were coming, but because there were signs that I was going to loose you.  I had known about you for less than 24 hours, yet I was already so in love with the idea of you that I could barely breathe.

But here you are; 365 days later.  A perfect fit into this crazy family of ours. You are such a lovely baby and you are so loved. I can't wait to see what this life has in store for my wonderful third-born.

Love,
Your Mama