He Shoots, he... Touchdown!

If you were in a Mcdonalds, would you go up to the counter and try to order a Whopper? I mean, you're in a restaurant. And they serve burgers. Why not give it a try? But you wouldn't, because as hard as you try, you are not going to find a Whopper at a Mcdonalds.

Then why-oh-why do people insist on going to sporting events wearing jerseys of teams that aren't even playing? If you are at a hockey game where the Stars are playing the Canucks, then you really have two choices... A Dallas Stars jersey, or a Vancouver Canucks jersey. That's it. An old Minnesota Northstars jersey would be okay, and I'll even give a thumbs-up to a Team Canada (if one of the teams playing is indeed from Canada), or a Team U.S.A. jersey. But if you show up wearing a Wings jersey, then either you mixed up the date on your ticket, or you need to head north for a few hours and hang a right somewhere in Nebraska.

And don't get me started on people that wear jerseys from other sports. I saw a guy wearing an Eagles jersey at a Stars/Canucks game and I wanted to go up to him and let him know that in hockey there's this really cold stuff called ice, and... never mind, if you're dumb enough to wear a football jersey to a hockey game I might as well just save my breath.

I get what you're trying to do. By wearing a Texas Longhorns jersey (and yes, I saw these at the game on Friday), you're saying, "hey, I'm from Texas, and I support any and all Texas teams." But it makes you look stupid. Spend the $10 and buy yourself a Stars shirt if you choose to root for sub-par teams.

And Mr. Oklahoma Sooners Jersey? I'm not sure what you were trying to say at all.