Please hang up and don't try your call again

Dear phone survey lady who thinks it's okay to call my house before 10 am on a Saturday,

I don't mind doing surveys. Sometimes, I actually enjoy them. But I did not enjoy your attempt to goad me into a survey this past weekend.

Your first mistake came when I answered the phone with a rather english-sounding hello (the language, not the accent). Why did you feel it necessary to proceed speaking to me in Spanish? Just because my last name happens to be ethnic looking, doesn't mean I speak that language. I feel so... so... profiled.

And don't sound so baffled when I continue to speak to you in english. By the way, my last name is of Portuguese origin. Spanish and Portuguese are two different languages. Get your nationalities straight.

And when I tell you that now is not a good time to answer your survey because I'm just about to walk out the door; do not argue with me. Because I would never just say that to get off the phone with you. Not ever, never ever.

Well, today I actually was trying to leave, and could not believe your chutzpah when you started arguing with me. By the way, chutzpah is a Hebrew word, but that doesn't mean I know that language either.

You see, the conversation should have gone a little something like this:

You: Hi ma'am (notice you are speaking english here), I represent x-company and we're conducting a short survey about _______. Do you have time to answer some questions?

Me (also speaking english): I'm sorry, I was just about to leave. Now is not a good time.

You (still speaking english): I'll call back another time.

Click.

See how polite and civilized that was?

But for some reason, you insisted on arguing with me. As if that would change my mind. And by the way, when you kept telling me it would only take a minute of my time; you used up that minute by trying to convince me how little time it would take. Can you now see how it all went so horribly wrong?

And when you asked when would be a better time and I responded, "anytime but now"? That really meant never. Actually, scratch that. I'd like you to call back so I can yell at you some more when I'm not so pressed for time.

Sincerely Yours,

Joanne

P.S. My maiden name is of Czech origin, but I don't speak that either.