Monday, October 20, 2008

Holding On

I'm not going to say much tonight, except that life has sure sucked lately. So much so that I'm not even going to write about it. I suppose I'm a little afraid that writing it down will give it some sort of power. All I will say it that despair is starting to take hold. And I'm feeling cheated. This is a time I should be enjoying my daughter. But I said I'm not going to write about it, so I won't. Instead I'm going to hold onto these lyrics from a Matt Redman song that have been resonating in my head all day:

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

I don't really see a light right now, but I am holding onto His promise.


Anonymous said...

Hey Jo. I love that song. I first heard it about a year ago at the Fusion conference and instantly connected with it, partly because it reminded me of the storms I'd been through already and partly because it foreshadowed all the troubles that lay ahead.

Having never cared for a diabetic child, I can't say I know what you're going through, although it certainly sounds terrible. However, I do know this: God knows you and Fred and how much you love both him and Elise. He won't give you anything that you can't handle with his help. I absolutely believe that, and I hope you do as well. Hang in there. We will keep praying for you.