Remembering the How

I'm feeling nostalgic these days. It's coming up on a year since Elise was born, and I've been going over the story of her conception in my head for the last few days now. It's a cool story, a special one to Fred and I. And I can't wait to share it with Elise when she gets older. So I thought I'd better get off my butt and record it before some of the details get fuzzy.

The story begins much before we even found out I was pregnant. Fred and I were on our "honeymoon" in Kauai. I use quotations, because this honeymoon came 6 1/2 years after we were married. We never had a honeymoon because we were broke, but it was our dream to go to Hawaii. So more than 6 years later, after we had saved up the cash, we spent 8 glorious days in paradise. I think Fred and I knew this was to be our last hurrah as marrieds-with-no-kids. We had talked about having a baby on and off through our marriage, but always felt we were too selfish, and didn't want to give up our freedom. But we also knew that it was important to us to start our own limb of the family tree.

We didn't tell anyone we were trying, because when people have that knowledge, they tend to hurt you with it. Not on purpose, but by asking questions about how the process was going. I needed to be left alone, and not stressed out.

We found out that Elise was on her way on Christmas Eve 2006. I'm not very bright when it comes to this trying to get pregnant stuff, so I thought my period was only a few days late. Come to find out that you count from the FIRST day of your last period... not the last day. Yikes... I was 8 days late! I found this little piece of information out right before we were leaving to go to church for the Christmas Eve service, so I told Fred we needed to go by a drug store. He figured out why, and we swung by the nearest CVS.

Well, the closest place where I would be able to pee on a stick was at church (I certainly didn't want to wait until we got home), so that's where we found out. In the West area bathroom of IBC (The first stall, in case anybody cares). I cried, and let me tell you they weren't really tears of happiness. I was afraid, panicked, and mad. I was told it would take a lot longer (I had only had one cycle since I got off the BC), and I had hardly gotten used to the idea that we were trying. I know my reaction was very strange, but it was how I felt. Fred and I walked to the service clutching onto each other for dear life.

As we sat in the darkened sanctuary, instead of taking in how beautifully it had been decorated, or the wonderful sounds of the choir as they worshipped; I sat there on the verge of tears, scared out of my mind. Pastor Andy then got up to talk, and he painted a picture of himself as a 24-year old youth pastor, living in the Pacific Northwest, happy to be doing what he was doing. He told a story of a lazy afternoon, he was napping on the sofa when his wife came in to wake him up. "You're going to be a Dad," she told him. She was pregnant with their first-born, Julie. Andy said his world changed radically that day, as he felt the weight of responsibility descend upon him. And he likened it to how Mary must of felt in Luke 1 when the angel Gabriel told her she was going to have a son. It was a joyous occasion, but a scary one... for many reasons. But it was Mary's faith in God and His plan that enabled her to rise up and go forward through the fear.

His words really ministered to me that day. God was right there, whispering in my ear and reminding me that He cares about what I'm going through, He has a plan, and His promises are certain.

Just for fun I thought I'd share our announcement video. No, I am NOT pregnant again, this is the video we sent out to everybody to let them know that Elise was on her way! Enjoy!